Tuesday, March 06, 2007

"Aren't you happy?"

"Fancy a beer?" you ask and hand me a beer. I just take the bottle and thank you. You smile and I feel a slight ache in my heart. What was THAT supposed to mean? I try to smile but you seem to notice that there's something wrong. "Are you alright?" you ask careing. I just nod and smile. "My head's just a bit dizzy" I say and I hope you don't recognise my blushing. You start talking to me about movies and music and all I can think of is how I could tell you that I love you. More than anything. More than myself. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't want to breath without you. My life's worth a shit without you. But I can't tell you. Not yet. It's too early.

Instead we drink a few and talk about all the things we like and dislike. About our hopes and fears. About our dreams. We talk about each other's lifes like we knew each other for ages. We laugh and when I told you about my family and I start to cry a little before I change the subject all of a sudden. You tell me about your sister and her baby, about your parents and their shop. About your friends and how you used to spent you evenings together before the big break. How you used to get pissed on alcohol and drugs. How you took girls for granted. You tell me about how life was so easy before everything "big" happened. How happy you were before everything happened.

"Aren't you happy?" I ask you and with a smile on your face you answer: "I am now".